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What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?

So-fish-ticated.

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a large inflated red number five against a white backgroundPuns

Why is the number 5 good at keeping secrets?

It can plead the fifth.

Puns

Where do colds go on vacation?

Germ-any.

Holiday

What's a doctor's favorite Olympic sport?

Skeleton.

Sports

Did you ever hear the joke about a boomerang?

I don't remember it, but it'll come back to me.

People

Who do camels find most inspiring?

The Dalai Llama.

Toilet Paper?Puns

How is life like toilet paper?

You're either on a roll or taking poop from someone.

Puns

What do you call the wife of a hippie?

A Mississippi.

Family

Who are crows' favorite family members?

Caw-sins.

Sports

Why did the mom decide to play soccer in her spare time?

Just for kicks.

Animals

What do you call a cow with two legs?

Eileen.

Education

Anyone know the formula for water? Sure. That's easy, said one man. What is it? H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O.

H to O.

Toilet Paper?Puns

How is life like toilet paper?

You're either on a roll or taking poop from someone.

People

How do you talk to a giant?

Use big words.

Political

Why did the senator bring cookies to the congress session?

He heard they were working on treat-ies.

Animals

What do you call a sheep with no legs or head?

A cloud.

Puns

Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh!