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What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon?
A bird who knocks before delivering its message.
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People
Which celebrity has the best handwriting?
Sean Pen.
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Puns
What do you call a belt made of clocks?
A waist of time.
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Education
How can you make 7 even?
You take away the "s".
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Holiday
It's Crowded!
This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in.
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Vehicles
What kind of car does a chicken have?
A coop.
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Animals
What fish only swims at night?
A starfish.
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Food & Drinks
Why do diners never serve lobster?
They're shellfish.
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Animals
What do you call the pig that does karate?
A pork chop.
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People
Why did the runner quit the race against bigfoot?
He couldn't face defeet!
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Animals
How does a polar bear build a house?
Igloos it together.
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Puns
What kind of clothes does a house wear?
An address.
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Puns
Why did the map not want to be weighed?
It wasn't to scale.
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People
Which celebrity has the best handwriting?
Sean Pen.
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Animals
What kind of bull doesn't have horns?
A bullfrog.
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Holiday
Why do moms make good vintners?
Because they deal with a lot of whine.
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Animals
How to you navigate a canoe filled with puppies?
You whip out the doggy paddle.
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