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What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon?

A bird who knocks before delivering its message.

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People

Which celebrity has the best handwriting?

Sean Pen.

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Puns

What do you call a belt made of clocks?

A waist of time.

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Education

How can you make 7 even?

You take away the "s".

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crowded graveyard?Holiday

It's Crowded!

This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in.

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Vehicles

What kind of car does a chicken have?

A coop.

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Animals

What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.

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Food & Drinks

Why do diners never serve lobster?

They're shellfish.

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Animals

What do you call the pig that does karate?

A pork chop.

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People

Why did the runner quit the race against bigfoot?

He couldn't face defeet!

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Animals

How does a polar bear build a house?

Igloos it together.

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Puns

What kind of clothes does a house wear?

An address.

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Puns

Why did the map not want to be weighed?

It wasn't to scale.

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People

Which celebrity has the best handwriting?

Sean Pen.

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Animals

What kind of bull doesn't have horns?

A bullfrog.

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Holiday

Why do moms make good vintners?

Because they deal with a lot of whine.

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Animals

How to you navigate a canoe filled with puppies?

You whip out the doggy paddle.

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