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Why was the plumber predicted to win American Idol?

He had an amazing set of pipes.

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Education

Why did the professor write on the window?

She wanted the lesson to be clear.

Holiday

How is a sofa like a Thanksgiving turkey?

Because they're both full of stuffing.

Education

Why was the room so hot during the college graduation?

There were thousands of degrees packed in there.

Puns

What did the Parisian say after cutting his grass?

Time to baguette.

Animals

What do you get if you cross some ants with some tics?

All sorts of antics.

a close-up of Cap'n Crunch's Crunch Berries® cerealPuns

Did you hear how Cap'n Crunch® died?

Yeah, it was a cereal killer.

Puns

Which fish go to heaven when they die?

Angelfish.

Holiday

What nationality is Santa Claus?

North Polish.

Soccer referees?Sports

What do soccer referees send during the holidays?

Yellow cards.

Vehicles

What's a doll's favorite car?

A Toyota.

Sports

When fish play football, who is the captain?

The team's kipper.

Entertainment

What do you call a hike across the universe?

A star trek.

Puns

What do you get if you cross a steer with a tadpole?

A bullfrog.

Animals

Why are elephants wiser than chickens?

Have you ever heard of Kentucky Fried Elephant?

Sports

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

In case he got a hole in one.

Animals

What does a queen bee do when she burps?

Issues a royal pardon.