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Why was the plumber predicted to win American Idol?

He had an amazing set of pipes.

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Education

Why did the professor write on the window?

She wanted the lesson to be clear.

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Holiday

How is a sofa like a Thanksgiving turkey?

Because they're both full of stuffing.

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Education

Why was the room so hot during the college graduation?

There were thousands of degrees packed in there.

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Puns

What did the Parisian say after cutting his grass?

Time to baguette.

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Animals

What do you get if you cross some ants with some tics?

All sorts of antics.

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a close-up of Cap'n Crunch's Crunch Berries® cerealPuns

Did you hear how Cap'n Crunch® died?

Yeah, it was a cereal killer.

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Puns

Which fish go to heaven when they die?

Angelfish.

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Holiday

What nationality is Santa Claus?

North Polish.

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Soccer referees?Sports

What do soccer referees send during the holidays?

Yellow cards.

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Vehicles

What's a doll's favorite car?

A Toyota.

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Sports

When fish play football, who is the captain?

The team's kipper.

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Entertainment

What do you call a hike across the universe?

A star trek.

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Puns

What do you get if you cross a steer with a tadpole?

A bullfrog.

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Animals

Why are elephants wiser than chickens?

Have you ever heard of Kentucky Fried Elephant?

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Sports

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

In case he got a hole in one.

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Animals

What does a queen bee do when she burps?

Issues a royal pardon.

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