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Why was the pilot so easily distracted?

She had her head in the clouds.

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Sports

Why did Justin Turner sign up for the marathon near where he grew up?

It was a home run.

a woman is signing an autograph while photographers are taking her picturePeople

Who is the nicest celebrity around?

Tom Thanks.

Puns

What do you find at the end of everything?

The letter G.

Animals

What do you call the donkey with 3 legs?

Wonky.

a woman looks annoyed at a man giving her a bouquet of flowersPuns

Why did the sea captain go on so many dates?

Because she knew there were other fish in the sea.

a cat is photoshopped wearing sunglasses and drinking an orange drink from a strawAnimals

Where do cats go on vacation?

Meow-i.

Santa & soccer?Holiday

What did Santa bring the naughty soccer player?

COOOOOOOAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL!

Food & Drinks

Where do burgers like to dance?

At the meatball.

Holiday

Why did Santa spell Christmas N-O-E?

Because the angel said, "No L!"

Animals

What do you call a bunch of animals that can't stop cracking jokes?

A funny farm.

Puns

How do locomotives know where to go?

They have a lot of training.

Animals

What do you call a kangaroo's lazy joey?

Pouch potato.

Animals

Where does the stingray's husband hang out?

In his man-ta cave.

Entertainment

What do you get if you cross a science fiction film with a toad?

Star Warts.

Education

Which letter is the sleepiest in the alphabet?

E, because it's always in bed.

Education

Why was the room so hot during the college graduation?

There were thousands of degrees packed in there.