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Why was the mean not looking forward to the end of the school year?

Because it had to go to sum-mer school.

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People

What do you call it when you get bubbles in your mouth while singing in the shower?

A soap opera.

Puns

What did the ocean say to the beach?

Nothing. It just waved.

The Umpire?Sports

What's the difference between a pickpocket and an umpire?

One steals watches and one watches steals.

Sports

Where do football directors go when they are fed up?

The bored room.

Sports

Why do Olympians never overheat?

Because they have a lot of fans.

Puns

Why were the animal shelters at full capacity in the spring?

It kept raining cats and dogs.

Puns

What did the painter say to the wall?

One more crack and I'll plaster you.

Puns

What do you get if you feed gunpowder to a chicken?

An egg-splosion.

a major highway in Shanghai, China lit up at nightVehicles

What are the smartest highways in the world?

Roads scholars.

Sports

Where do religious school children practice sports?

In the prayground!

Education

What's chips and guac's favorite constellation?

The Big Dipper.

Science

What did the dad say when the boy asked him to explain the solar eclipse to him?

No sun.

Food & Drinks

What did the pear say to the celery stick?

Quit stalking me.

Professional

My boss instructed me to set up the company's 401k.

I told her I don't think anyone on the team can run that far.

Animals

Which insect is the smartest?

The spelling bee.

Science

Why do math teachers love March?

Because of pi day!