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Why was the horse so happy?

Because they lived in a stable environment.

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Puns

Knock knock. Who's there? Euripides. Euripides who?

Euripides things, you buy them!

Animals

What do you call a parrot making fun of you?

A mockingbird.

Entertainment

Where did Captain Hook purchase his hook?

At the local second-hand store.

Puns

How do mice celebrate when they move home?

Mouse warming party.

Animals

How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a monster?

Terrier-fied.

Sports

How did the football pitch end up as a triangle?

Somebody took a corner back.

Political

Why did the senator bring cookies to the congress session?

He heard they were working on treat-ies.

Food & Drinks

How does a taco bless the table?

"Lettuce pray."

Travel

What are rental cars called in Spain?

Barceloaners.

Animals

Why did the spider eat fireflies every evening?

He wanted a "light" snack after dinner.

Professional

Why was the air compressor dripping with sweat?

It had been running all day and night.

Puns

How could the dolphin afford to buy a house?

He prawned everything.

a man wearing a beanie, sunglasses, and headphones in front of a blue backgroundFood & Drinks

What vegetables make the best music?

Beets.

Holiday

What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?

A cookie sheet!

Puns

Why should you stand in a corner if you're cold?

They're usually 90 degrees.

Toilet Paper?Puns

How is life like toilet paper?

You're either on a roll or taking poop from someone.