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Why was the horse so happy?
Because they lived in a stable environment.
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Puns
Knock knock. Who's there? Euripides. Euripides who?
Euripides things, you buy them!
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Animals
What do you call a parrot making fun of you?
A mockingbird.
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Entertainment
Where did Captain Hook purchase his hook?
At the local second-hand store.
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Puns
How do mice celebrate when they move home?
Mouse warming party.
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Animals
How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a monster?
Terrier-fied.
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Sports
How did the football pitch end up as a triangle?
Somebody took a corner back.
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Political
Why did the senator bring cookies to the congress session?
He heard they were working on treat-ies.
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Food & Drinks
How does a taco bless the table?
"Lettuce pray."
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Travel
What are rental cars called in Spain?
Barceloaners.
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Animals
Why did the spider eat fireflies every evening?
He wanted a "light" snack after dinner.
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Professional
Why was the air compressor dripping with sweat?
It had been running all day and night.
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Puns
How could the dolphin afford to buy a house?
He prawned everything.
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Food & Drinks
What vegetables make the best music?
Beets.
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Holiday
What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A cookie sheet!
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Puns
Why should you stand in a corner if you're cold?
They're usually 90 degrees.
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Puns
How is life like toilet paper?
You're either on a roll or taking poop from someone.
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