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Why was the grandma always getting A's on her papers?

She had a knack for gram-mer.

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Political

Which bureau of the US government has the best breath?

The Mint.

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Sports

Why did the mom decide to play soccer in her spare time?

Just for kicks.

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Puns

What kind of pole is short and floppy?

A tadpole.

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Puns

How does a single horse RSVP to a party?

They're going stag.

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singing rodent?Animals

What do you call a singing rodent?

Justin Beaver!

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Animals

Why did the cat sleep with a fan on?

He wanted to be a cool cat.

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Animals

When is a black dog not a black dog?

When it's a greyhound.

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a close-up of two feet wearing flip-flop sandals on a yellow backgroundHoliday

Why are sandals so indecisive?

They always flip-flop back and forth.

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Sports

How does cardboard get its workout in?

Boxing.

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Animals

Why did the spider eat fireflies every evening?

He wanted a "light" snack after dinner.

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Education

How can you make 7 even?

You take away the "s".

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Animals

Why could no one recognize the sheep?

He had a goatee.

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Outdoors

What do you call a BBQ by the pool?

A swim meat.

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Animals

What do you call bears with no ears?

B—.

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Animals

Why did the man name his canines Rolex and Timex?

They were his watch dogs.

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Holiday

How did the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?

Dead-lifting.

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