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Why was the grandma always getting A's on her papers?
She had a knack for gram-mer.
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Political
Which bureau of the US government has the best breath?
The Mint.
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Sports
Why did the mom decide to play soccer in her spare time?
Just for kicks.
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Puns
What kind of pole is short and floppy?
A tadpole.
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Puns
How does a single horse RSVP to a party?
They're going stag.
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Animals
What do you call a singing rodent?
Justin Beaver!
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Animals
Why did the cat sleep with a fan on?
He wanted to be a cool cat.
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Animals
When is a black dog not a black dog?
When it's a greyhound.
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Holiday
Why are sandals so indecisive?
They always flip-flop back and forth.
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Sports
How does cardboard get its workout in?
Boxing.
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Animals
Why did the spider eat fireflies every evening?
He wanted a "light" snack after dinner.
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Education
How can you make 7 even?
You take away the "s".
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Animals
Why could no one recognize the sheep?
He had a goatee.
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Outdoors
What do you call a BBQ by the pool?
A swim meat.
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Animals
What do you call bears with no ears?
B—.
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Animals
Why did the man name his canines Rolex and Timex?
They were his watch dogs.
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Holiday
How did the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
Dead-lifting.
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