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Why was Billy fired from the banana shop?

He wouldn't stop throwing away the bent ones.

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Puns

What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

Use a cowculator.

Puns

What do you get from an Alaskan cow?

Cold cream.

Food & Drinks

What did the bread say when he proposed to his girlfriend?

I loaf you!

Animals

Why did the man name his canines Rolex and Timex?

They were his watch dogs.

Outdoors

Why did everyone want to be near the volcano?

Because it's just so lava-ble.

a police officer in full uniform kneels on the pavement next to his german shepherd against a foggy backgroundAnimals

What animal is always ready to protect people?

An arm-adillo.

Outdoors

Why did the body of water think so much?

It liked to pond-er.

a girl dressed in an 80s-style windbreaker, white sunglasses, and a side ponytail poses for the cameraFood & Drinks

What vegetable still uses slang from the '80s?

A rad-ish.

Holiday

What is the best Christmas present ever?

A broken drum-you can't beat it.

Animals

What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.

Puns

What did the tomato say to the ear of corn?

Can you ear me?

Animals

How do you stop an angry elephant from charging?

Take away its credit cards.

Education

Where do you go when you need an excuse to get out of something?

A lie-brary.

Sports

When is a baseball player like a thief?

When he steals a base.

Holiday

What's a mummy's favorite food to eat?

Wraps.

Animals

What animal scores the most in basketball?

A dunk-ey.