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Why shouldn't you iron a four-leaf clover?

You shouldn't press your luck.

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Current Events

What do they say when a basketball player loses his mind?

He has a case of March Madness.

Animals

Where do horses reside?

In neigh-borhoods.

Entertainment

What do you call fowl that fly into windows?

Angry birds.

Puns

What insect runs away from everything?

A flee.

a close-up of three horses sticking their heads over the wall of a horse stallPuns

What do horses say to greet each other?

Hay there.

Entertainment

What did the teacher say when the Demogorgon showed up in their classroom?

Stranger things have happened.

Puns

Why do people love getting letters from astronauts?

They have the best space stationery.

Puns

Wanna hear a joke about paper?

Never mind. It's tearable...

Entertainment

Why are ET's eyes so big?

Because he saw the phone bill.

Family

How did the cowboy greet his wife every day after work?

Howdy, partner!

Puns

Why shouldn't you trust stairs?

They are always up to something.

Sports

When fish play football, who is the captain?

The team's kipper.

Education

What do you call a pencil that has two erasers?

Pointless.

People

What's a pirate's favorite letter?

You may think it's R, but it's really the C that they love.

Holiday

Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Proctor and Gamble?

Comet cleans sinks.

Animals

Why can't dogs operate MRI machines?

I don't know, but catscan.