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Why shouldn't you tell secrets in a cornfield?

There are too many ears.

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Current Events

What do they say when a basketball player loses his mind?

He has a case of March Madness.

Animals

What do you get if you cross a duck with a firework?

A firequacker.

Animals

Why is the snail the strongest animal?

Because he carries a house on his back.

Political

Which former US President was always cold?

Calvin Coolidge.

Entertainment

What do you get if you cross a science fiction film with a toad?

Star Warts.

Animals

What animal loves to sway side-to-side?

A lean-mur.

a painting of autumn trees hangs on a gray wallPolitical

Why did the painting win the presidential election?

It was good at canvassing.

Food & Drinks

What did one pickle say to the other when it didn't get its way?

Dill with it.

Sports

What game can you play while eating dinner?

Table tennis.

Education

To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you.

You have my Word!

a tropical cocktail complete with umbrella sits on a beachFood & Drinks

What cocktail will give you a black eye?

A rum punch.

a close-up of Arnold Schwarzenegger's star from the Hollywood Walk of FameVehicles

What kind of car does Arnold Schwarzenegger drive?

A muscle car.

Outdoors

What kind of bow can't be tied?

A rainbow!

Holiday

If Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus had a child, what would he be called?

A subordinate claus.

a woman looks annoyed at a man giving her a bouquet of flowersPuns

Why did the sea captain go on so many dates?

Because she knew there were other fish in the sea.

a person's hand holds a missing piece from a white puzzle, with the words "lies" and "true" writtenAnimals

Which big cat never tells the truth?

A lie-on.