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Why shouldn't you tell secrets in a cornfield?
There are too many ears.
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Current Events
What do they say when a basketball player loses his mind?
He has a case of March Madness.
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Animals
What do you get if you cross a duck with a firework?
A firequacker.
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Animals
Why is the snail the strongest animal?
Because he carries a house on his back.
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Political
Which former US President was always cold?
Calvin Coolidge.
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Entertainment
What do you get if you cross a science fiction film with a toad?
Star Warts.
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Animals
What animal loves to sway side-to-side?
A lean-mur.
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Political
Why did the painting win the presidential election?
It was good at canvassing.
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Food & Drinks
What did one pickle say to the other when it didn't get its way?
Dill with it.
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Sports
What game can you play while eating dinner?
Table tennis.
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Education
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you.
You have my Word!
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Food & Drinks
What cocktail will give you a black eye?
A rum punch.
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Vehicles
What kind of car does Arnold Schwarzenegger drive?
A muscle car.
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Outdoors
What kind of bow can't be tied?
A rainbow!
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Holiday
If Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus had a child, what would he be called?
A subordinate claus.
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Puns
Why did the sea captain go on so many dates?
Because she knew there were other fish in the sea.
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Animals
Which big cat never tells the truth?
A lie-on.
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