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Why is shrubbery so bad at being direct with people?

Because it always beats around the bush.

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Animals

What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon?

A bird who knocks before delivering its message.

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Professional

Where does a veterinarian's husband sleep when they're fighting?

In the dog house.

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a close-up, profile shot of a referee blowing his whistle in front of a red backgroundSports

What sport is always getting in trouble?

Bad-minton.

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Food & Drinks

How do eggs end a TV show?

That's all, yolks!

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The Baseball?Sports

Did you hear the joke about the pop fly?

Forget it. It's way over your head.

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Animals

What do you call the dog magician?

A labra-cadabra.

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Animals

What kind of fish will help you hear better?

A herring aid.

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a Corgi dog is wrapped up in a blanketFamily

What did the puppy call his dad's best friend?

His godpawther.

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Science

Why do math teachers love March?

Because of pi day!

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Puns

Why did the pumpkin give up acting?

Its dreams were squashed.

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Sports

Why was the stadium steaming hot after the game?

All of the fans left.

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Holiday

What nationality is Santa Claus?

North Polish.

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Food & Drinks

How long will dinner be?

About a foot and a half.

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Entertainment

What do you call it when Batman skips church?

Christian Bale.

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Holiday

What's a doctor's favorite Olympic sport?

Skeleton.

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Food & Drinks

What did the French chef say when he made a mistake?

Oh crepe!

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