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Why is sand so optimistic?

It has a can-dune attitude.

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The penguins?Animals

How does a penguin build its house?

Igloos it together.

Animals

Why do rodents make the best runners?

Because life's a rat race.

Darth Vader?Entertainment

How does Darth Vader like his toast?

On the dark side.

Food & Drinks

Why did the sausage quit playing baseball?

He was the wurst on his team.

a pitcher winds up to throw the baseballSports

What's a pitcher's favorite vitamin?

Vitamin K!

Holiday

Why did Santa spell Christmas N-O-E?

Because the angel said, "No L!"

Animals

Why does a duck have tail feathers?

To cover its butt-quack.

a pretty sunrise over the ocean and beachOutdoors

What song does the horizon sing every morning?

Here comes the sun!

Food & Drinks

How long will dinner be?

About a foot and a half.

Professional

Did you know you can actually listen to the blood in your veins?

You just have to listen varicosely.

Sports

What do two oxygen molecule friends call each other?

Air buds.

Animals

Why don't elephants like playing cards in the jungle?

Because of all the cheetahs.

an illustration of many planets in a galaxyVehicles

What type of car do planets buy?

A Mercury.

Puns

What did the sneaky chick say when it came out of the egg?

Time to hatch a plan!

Why quit taxi?Professional

Why did the man give up being a taxi driver?

There was too much talking behind his back.

Puns

How could the dolphin afford to buy a house?

He prawned everything.