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Why is sand so optimistic?

It has a can-dune attitude.

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The penguins?Animals

How does a penguin build its house?

Igloos it together.

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Animals

Why do rodents make the best runners?

Because life's a rat race.

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Darth Vader?Entertainment

How does Darth Vader like his toast?

On the dark side.

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Food & Drinks

Why did the sausage quit playing baseball?

He was the wurst on his team.

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a pitcher winds up to throw the baseballSports

What's a pitcher's favorite vitamin?

Vitamin K!

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Holiday

Why did Santa spell Christmas N-O-E?

Because the angel said, "No L!"

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Animals

Why does a duck have tail feathers?

To cover its butt-quack.

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a pretty sunrise over the ocean and beachOutdoors

What song does the horizon sing every morning?

Here comes the sun!

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Food & Drinks

How long will dinner be?

About a foot and a half.

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Professional

Did you know you can actually listen to the blood in your veins?

You just have to listen varicosely.

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Sports

What do two oxygen molecule friends call each other?

Air buds.

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Animals

Why don't elephants like playing cards in the jungle?

Because of all the cheetahs.

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an illustration of many planets in a galaxyVehicles

What type of car do planets buy?

A Mercury.

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Puns

What did the sneaky chick say when it came out of the egg?

Time to hatch a plan!

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Why quit taxi?Professional

Why did the man give up being a taxi driver?

There was too much talking behind his back.

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Puns

How could the dolphin afford to buy a house?

He prawned everything.

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