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Why is it wrong to steal a thesaurus?

Because people have no words for how angry it makes them.

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Sports

Why do baseball players have such great retirement plans?

They want to make sure their bases are covered.

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a chimpanzee appears to be angrily shoutingAnimals

What animal cheers the loudest at sports games?

A whee-bra!

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Scrambled eggs?Food & Drinks

Why don't eggs tell jokes?

They'd crack each other up!

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Puns

What did one dandelion say to the other dandelion?

Take me to your weeder.

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Political

Which part of a tree makes the biggest decisions?

The Judicial Branch.

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Professional

What's a ghost's favorite work schedule?

The graveyard shift.

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The Baseball game?Sports

Why are baseball games at night?

The bats sleep during the day.

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Professional

You know there's no official training for trash collectors?

They just pick things up as they go along.

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Animals

What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?

A seahorse.

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Animals

What is the most faithful insect?

A flea, once they find someone they like they stick to them.

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People

Who is the worm's Prime Minister?

Maggot Thatcher.

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Animals

What's a frog's favorite drink on a hot summer day?

An ice-cold croak-a-cola.

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Vehicles

Why did the train always get heated in an argument?

It was a steam engine.

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Animals

Why did the cat frown when she passed the hen house?

Because she heard fowl language.

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Cat's TV show?Entertainment

What TV show did the cat love to watch?

Claw and Order.

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Entertainment

What's the name of Iron Man's thieving younger brother?

Steel-man.

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