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Why is it wrong to steal a thesaurus?
Because people have no words for how angry it makes them.
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Sports
Why do baseball players have such great retirement plans?
They want to make sure their bases are covered.
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Animals
What animal cheers the loudest at sports games?
A whee-bra!
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Food & Drinks
Why don't eggs tell jokes?
They'd crack each other up!
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Puns
What did one dandelion say to the other dandelion?
Take me to your weeder.
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Political
Which part of a tree makes the biggest decisions?
The Judicial Branch.
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Professional
What's a ghost's favorite work schedule?
The graveyard shift.
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Sports
Why are baseball games at night?
The bats sleep during the day.
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Professional
You know there's no official training for trash collectors?
They just pick things up as they go along.
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Animals
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse.
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Animals
What is the most faithful insect?
A flea, once they find someone they like they stick to them.
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People
Who is the worm's Prime Minister?
Maggot Thatcher.
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Animals
What's a frog's favorite drink on a hot summer day?
An ice-cold croak-a-cola.
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Vehicles
Why did the train always get heated in an argument?
It was a steam engine.
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Animals
Why did the cat frown when she passed the hen house?
Because she heard fowl language.
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Entertainment
What TV show did the cat love to watch?
Claw and Order.
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Entertainment
What's the name of Iron Man's thieving younger brother?
Steel-man.
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