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Why doesn't Dracula have any friends?
He's a real pain in the neck.
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Outdoors
I can cut down a tree only using my vision...
I saw it with my own eyes.
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Puns
Why is money so stubborn?
It doesn't want to make change.
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Puns
Why did the man decide to sell his vacuum?
It was gathering dust.
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People
Which computer won the talent show?
A Dell.
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Animals
Why did the chicken cross the net?
It wanted to get to the other site.
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Animals
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn't chicken.
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Entertainment
What TV show did the cat love to watch?
Claw and Order.
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People
Who is the nicest celebrity around?
Tom Thanks.
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Animals
What animal scores the most in basketball?
A dunk-ey.
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Animals
Why couldn't the leopard hide?
He was always spotted.
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Animals
Why did the man name his canines Rolex and Timex?
They were his watch dogs.
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Professional
What do basketball players and lawyers have in common?
They both go to court.
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Puns
Why did the person sit on the clock?
So they could be ON time.
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Holiday
Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So he can ho-ho-ho.
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Animals
Why did the wildcat have such a successful email newsletter?
It always had the best lynx.
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Puns
Why does the photon not need a suitcase?
Because it's traveling light.
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