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Why does Snoop Dogg always have an umbrella with him?
Fo' drizzle.
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Sports
What did they call Dracula when he won the league?
The champire.
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Animals
What do you say to the tree frog who needs a lift?
Hop in.
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Animals
What kind of dog chases anything red?
A bull dog.
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People
How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
Rename the mail folder to Instruction Manuals.
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Holiday
What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A cookie sheet!
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Puns
Why did the lizard go on a diet?
It weighed too much for its scales.
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Holiday
How many chimneys does Father Christmas go down?
Stacks.
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Puns
What is the opposite of cock-a-doodle-doo?
Cock-a-doodle-don't.
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Animals
Where do pigs sleep during the summer?
In a ham-mock.
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Food & Drinks
Why was the seafood restaurant being investigated by the IRS?
They were suspected of being a shell company in some fishy business.
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Puns
Why are skeletons always hungry?
They're skin and bones.
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People
Which celebrity would make a great valet?
Sarah Jessica Parker.
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Professional
How does NASA organize a company party?
They planet.
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Food & Drinks
Did you hear about the famous pickle?
He was a big dill.
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Animals
Why don't koalas categorize as bears?
They don't have the right koalafications.
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People
Did you hear about the vacuum cleaner that can cut your housework in half?
I bought two.
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