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Why does Santa's sled get such good mileage?

Because it has long-distance runners on each side.

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Animals

What does a queen bee do when she burps?

Issues a royal pardon.

Puns

What do you get if you cross a cow with a camel?

Lumpy milkshakes.

People

What did Sherlock Holmes deduce when he woke up during his camping trip and saw the stars?

That someone had stolen his tent.

Travel

Where do optometrists go on vacation?

Eye-celand!

Puns

Wanna hear my favorite potassium joke?

K.

Puns

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?

He's all right now.

Food & Drinks

What is the loneliest cheese?

Prov-alone.

Family

What do you call an orchard full of relatives?

Family trees.

Animals

What's a glow worm's favorite song?

Wake me up before you glow glow.

Puns

My friend told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo.

So I had to put my foot down!

Puns

Why do people love getting letters from astronauts?

They have the best space stationery.

Sports

Why do baseball players have such great retirement plans?

They want to make sure their bases are covered.

Puns

Why did the tennis shoe walk away quietly?

It was a sneaker.

Holiday

What does Father Christmas suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?

Claustrophobia.

Entertainment

What do you call a hike across the universe?

A star trek.

Entertainment

Why does Snoop Dogg always have an umbrella with him?

Fo' drizzle.