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Why do worms taste like chewing gum?

Because they're wrigleys.

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a close-up of two feet wearing flip-flop sandals on a yellow backgroundHoliday

Why are sandals so indecisive?

They always flip-flop back and forth.

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Animals

What does a panda ghost say?

Bam-boo.

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Animals

What do you call octopus twins?

Itenticle.

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Animals

What do you get if you cross a duck with a firework?

A firequacker.

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Current Events

Who isn't happy to get an Academy Award?

Oscar the grouch.

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Puns

Which birds steal soap from the bath?

Robber ducks.

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an illustration of many planets in a galaxyVehicles

What type of car do planets buy?

A Mercury.

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Puns

Who do green peas see when they aren't feeling well?

A pod-iatrist.

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Holiday

Why do moms make good vintners?

Because they deal with a lot of whine.

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Sports

What is the difference between baseball and law?

In baseball, if you're caught stealing, you're out.

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Holiday

What Easter candy has tons of friends?

Peeps!

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People

Which celebrity can be sedimentary, igneous, or metamorphic?

The Rock.

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Holiday

What day is your mom always right?

Every day.

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Animals

How expensive is swimming with sharks?

It cost me an arm and a leg!

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Sports

What is the difference between baseball and law?

In baseball, if you're caught stealing, you're out.

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a person wearing blue gloves uses a drain snake tool in a bathroom sinkPeople

Which actor is a pro at unclogging a drain?

Christopher Plumber.

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