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Why do worms taste like chewing gum?

Because they're wrigleys.

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a close-up of two feet wearing flip-flop sandals on a yellow backgroundHoliday

Why are sandals so indecisive?

They always flip-flop back and forth.

Animals

What does a panda ghost say?

Bam-boo.

Animals

What do you call octopus twins?

Itenticle.

Animals

What do you get if you cross a duck with a firework?

A firequacker.

Current Events

Who isn't happy to get an Academy Award?

Oscar the grouch.

Puns

Which birds steal soap from the bath?

Robber ducks.

an illustration of many planets in a galaxyVehicles

What type of car do planets buy?

A Mercury.

Puns

Who do green peas see when they aren't feeling well?

A pod-iatrist.

Holiday

Why do moms make good vintners?

Because they deal with a lot of whine.

Sports

What is the difference between baseball and law?

In baseball, if you're caught stealing, you're out.

Holiday

What Easter candy has tons of friends?

Peeps!

People

Which celebrity can be sedimentary, igneous, or metamorphic?

The Rock.

Holiday

What day is your mom always right?

Every day.

Animals

How expensive is swimming with sharks?

It cost me an arm and a leg!

Sports

What is the difference between baseball and law?

In baseball, if you're caught stealing, you're out.

a person wearing blue gloves uses a drain snake tool in a bathroom sinkPeople

Which actor is a pro at unclogging a drain?

Christopher Plumber.