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Why do we tell actors to break a leg?

Because every play has a cast.

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a woman wearing an orange sweater is yelling into a megaphonePeople

Which celebrity has the loudest scream?

Pierce Brosnan.

a view of a green mountain forest with many pine trees and a blue sky behindOutdoors

Why are trees always so positive?

Because they have a pe-can do attitude.

a close-up of a red pen and paper with an A+ written on itEducation

Why did the wizard ace his math test?

It was on magic squares.

Vehicles

What's always messy no matter how many times you clean it?

A dirt bike.

The Basketball Players?Sports

Why do basketball players like cookies?

It's just another excuse to dunk.

Sports

What should a football team do if the pitch is flooded?

Bring on their subs.

Education

Which subject has two parts?

Bi-ology.

Professional

What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?

Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

Sports

What do you call a volleyball with a bad attitude?

Rebel Wilson.

Animals

What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?

So-fish-ticated.

Vehicles

What car can't keep a secret?

A Kia Telluride.

a bike sits on a stand in a repair shop with many toolsScience

Did you hear that H2O opened up a bike shop?

It's called the water cycle.

Puns

What do you do when two snails fight?

Let them slug it out.

a cat is playing with a roll of toilet paper in the bathroomAnimals

Why did the cat go to the bathroom in the trash can?

Because it's a litter box.

Professional

Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night?

"No change yet."

Animals

Why is the snail the strongest animal?

Because he carries a house on his back.