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Why do vampires always look sick?

They keep coffin.

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a close-up of a person filling out a multiple-choice test card with an alarm clock sitting nearbyVehicles

Which vehicle did the best on its SATs?

The Smart Car.

Puns

Why do mice need oiling?

Because they squeak.

two auto mechanics are using a tablet while fixing an engineProfessional

People are so hard on car mechanics.

They can't catch a brake.

Animals

Why are frogs always happy?

They eat what bugs them.

Animals

What do you call a kangaroo's lazy joey?

Pouch potato.

Puns

What did the tomato say to the ear of corn?

Can you ear me?

Animals

What animal scores the most in basketball?

A dunk-ey.

Animals

Why did the whale cross the road?

To get to the other tide.

Puns

Why do cows like being told jokes?

Because they like being amoosed.

Food & Drinks

Why did the tomato go out with the prune?

Because she couldn't find a date.

Professional

Why did the barber win the race?

She knew shortcuts.

Animals

What animal loves to sway side-to-side?

A lean-mur.

Animals

What do you call a cow with two legs?

Eileen.

Food & Drinks

What is the most attractive fruit?

A fine-apple.

Sports

What tea do footballers drink?

Penaltea.

dentist appointment?Professional

What time is your dentist appointment?

Tooth hurt-y.