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Why do trees have so many friends?
They branch out.
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Holiday
What did the baker say about the bread it made on Easter?
It has risen indeed!
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Family
Who loves the lake but refuses to get wet?
A dad on a fishing trip.
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Animals
Why do all ocean animals get along with mollusks?
Because they're as happy as a clam.
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Animals
What did the chicken do when he saw a bucket of fried chicken?
He kicked the bucket.
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Animals
What do you call a waterfowl that reads Herman Melville?
Moby-Duck.
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Professional
Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night?
"No change yet."
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Animals
What do you call a big fish who makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather.
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Animals
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Eileen.
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Animals
What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldoser.
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Holiday
What's always playing in Santa's workshop?
Wrap music.
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Animals
Which forest animal loves to eat Lay's®?
A chipmunk.
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Education
Why was the mean not looking forward to the end of the school year?
Because it had to go to sum-mer school.
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Music
What do you call berries playing the guitar?
A jam session.
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Animals
What do you call a kangaroo's lazy joey?
Pouch potato.
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Animals
What happened to the chicken whose feathers were all pointing the wrong way?
She was tickled to death.
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Food & Drinks
What cocktail will give you a black eye?
A rum punch.
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