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Why do trees have so many friends?

They branch out.

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Holiday

What did the baker say about the bread it made on Easter?

It has risen indeed!

Family

Who loves the lake but refuses to get wet?

A dad on a fishing trip.

a bunch of clams sits together against a white backgroundAnimals

Why do all ocean animals get along with mollusks?

Because they're as happy as a clam.

Animals

What did the chicken do when he saw a bucket of fried chicken?

He kicked the bucket.

a yellow duckling stands on top of open books on a deskAnimals

What do you call a waterfowl that reads Herman Melville?

Moby-Duck.

Professional

Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night?

"No change yet."

Animals

What do you call a big fish who makes you an offer you can't refuse?

The Codfather.

Animals

What do you call a cow with two legs?

Eileen.

Animals

What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldoser.

Holiday

What's always playing in Santa's workshop?

Wrap music.

many potato chips are spaced out on a blue surfaceAnimals

Which forest animal loves to eat Lay's®?

A chipmunk.

two children wearing backpacks are writing equations on a chalkboardEducation

Why was the mean not looking forward to the end of the school year?

Because it had to go to sum-mer school.

Music

What do you call berries playing the guitar?

A jam session.

Animals

What do you call a kangaroo's lazy joey?

Pouch potato.

Animals

What happened to the chicken whose feathers were all pointing the wrong way?

She was tickled to death.

a tropical cocktail complete with umbrella sits on a beachFood & Drinks

What cocktail will give you a black eye?

A rum punch.