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Why do spiders always know the answer to everything?
They're very good at finding things on the web.
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Sports
Why did the footballer hold his boot to his ear?
Because he liked sole music.
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Political
What is Abraham Lincoln's favorite toy?
Lincoln Logs!
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Vehicles
What do you get when you put a car and a dog together?
A carpet.
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Animals
When should a mouse carry an umbrella?
When it's raining cats and dogs.
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Puns
What's a shoemaker's favorite dessert?
Cobbler.
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Puns
Which state has the best streets?
Rhode Island.
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Animals
Why are ghosts such bad liars?
You can see right through them.
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Animals
What do you call octopus twins?
Itenticle.
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Outdoors
Where do logs like to go on hikes?
The woods.
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People
Which celebrity has the best handwriting?
Sean Pen.
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Professional
Why couldn't the couple get married at the library?
It was all booked up.
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Puns
What do you call a pig with no clothes on?
Streaky bacon.
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Animals
What bird shouldn't drink coffee?
A buzz-ard.
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Puns
Did you hear about the country giving free bread to its citizens?
It was a generous dough-nation.
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Puns
What do you get if you feed gunpowder to a chicken?
An egg-splosion.
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Professional
How do artists finish a project when they are stressed?
They just take things one stroke at a time.
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