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Why do owls make lousy reporters?

They only ask who.

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Puns

Why didn't the lamp sink in the water?

Because it was too light.

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Puns

What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.

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a cat is playing with a roll of toilet paper in the bathroomAnimals

Why did the cat go to the bathroom in the trash can?

Because it's a litter box.

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Vehicles

What kind of car do eggs drive?

A Yolkswagen.

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Holiday

What does winter fat turn into?

Spring rolls.

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Family

What do you call someone who tells dad jokes, but doesn't have any kids?

A faux pa.

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a nurse wearing blue scrubs and a stethoscope, holds a clipboard and smiles at the cameraProfessional

Why was the nurse afraid of camping?

Because there was so much poison IV.

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Professional

Why did the Uber driver get fired?

The passengers kept reporting him for going the extra mile.

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Mummy music?Music

What kind of music do mummies listen to?

Wrap music.

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Animals

What does a lion call an antelope?

Fast food.

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Holiday

What day is your mom always right?

Every day.

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Food & Drinks

What is the loneliest cheese?

Prov-alone.

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Puns

Everyone says that mushroom is such a fungi, so why didn't they have the party at his house?

Because he didn't have mushroom there.

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Family

How did the lambs know they were going to have a daughter?

They're she-ep.

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Animals

What do you get if you cross a frog and a dog?

A croaker spaniel.

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Professional

Did you know you can actually listen to the blood in your veins?

You just have to listen varicosely.

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