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Why do Olympians never overheat?

Because they have a lot of fans.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide.

two surfers sit on their boards in the water while holding up the "hang loose" signProfessional

Why are surfers so good at conflict resolution?

If anyone makes waves they just ride them off.

a close-up of Arnold Schwarzenegger's star from the Hollywood Walk of FameVehicles

What kind of car does Arnold Schwarzenegger drive?

A muscle car.

a European mayor stands at a table in front of a crowdCurrent Events

Why did the mayor cancel his motorcade?

Because it rained on his parade.


Why do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?

They are very scent-imental.


Why is money so stubborn?

It doesn't want to make change.

a person eating popcorn sits on their couch and pauses the show they're watching with a remote controlVehicles

What's a car's favorite TV show?

Law and Order SUV.


What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.


Why did the man name his canines Rolex and Timex?

They were his watch dogs.


Why did the mom decide to play soccer in her spare time?

Just for kicks.

Food & Drinks

Did you hear the rumor about butter?

Well, I'm not going to spread it.


What do librarians use as bait when they go fishing?

Book worms.


What did the outlet say to the power cord on their date?

Sorry, I just don't feel a spark.

a bowl of orange, nacho-flavored chips sits on a tablePuns

What did the Dorito say to his son?

You're a chip off the old block.


Why does Santa have 3 gardens?

So he can ho-ho-ho.


Why did the student eat their homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.