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Why do mice need oiling?

Because they squeak.

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Holiday

What is the best Christmas present ever?

A broken drum-you can't beat it.

a man dressed in 1970s fashion is dancing in front of a psychedelic orange backgroundPuns

Why were dancers in the '70s always sick?

They all had boogie fever!

a Corgi dog is wrapped up in a blanketFamily

What did the puppy call his dad's best friend?

His godpawther.

Food & Drinks

What kind of water do fireworks like?

Sparkling.

Animals

What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?

A collie-flower.

People

How did Benjamin Franklin feel when he discovered electricity?

Shocked!

Puns

How does a single horse RSVP to a party?

They're going stag.

singing rodent?Animals

What do you call a singing rodent?

Justin Beaver!

Vehicles

What car always breaks the rules?

A Nissan Rogue.

Entertainment

Where did Captain Hook purchase his hook?

At the local second-hand store.

Sports

What position does lemonade play in baseball?

Pitcher.

Food & Drinks

Why did the woman get mad at her husband when she asked him to pick up six cans of Sprite?

He picked 7 up instead.

a spotted pig swims in tropical clear blue waterAnimals

What do pigs do over the summer?

They go on a ham-ily vacation.

Food & Drinks

Where do burgers like to dance?

At the meatball.

Animals

Why is it called a litter of puppies?

Because they mess up the whole house.

a view of the earth from the moon's surfaceCurrent Events

Why do the Moon and the Earth get along best during the summer?

Because the Earth finally warms up to him.