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Why do mice need oiling?
Because they squeak.
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Holiday
What is the best Christmas present ever?
A broken drum-you can't beat it.
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Puns
Why were dancers in the '70s always sick?
They all had boogie fever!
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Family
What did the puppy call his dad's best friend?
His godpawther.
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Food & Drinks
What kind of water do fireworks like?
Sparkling.
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Animals
What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?
A collie-flower.
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People
How did Benjamin Franklin feel when he discovered electricity?
Shocked!
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Puns
How does a single horse RSVP to a party?
They're going stag.
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Animals
What do you call a singing rodent?
Justin Beaver!
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Vehicles
What car always breaks the rules?
A Nissan Rogue.
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Entertainment
Where did Captain Hook purchase his hook?
At the local second-hand store.
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Sports
What position does lemonade play in baseball?
Pitcher.
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Food & Drinks
Why did the woman get mad at her husband when she asked him to pick up six cans of Sprite?
He picked 7 up instead.
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Animals
What do pigs do over the summer?
They go on a ham-ily vacation.
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Food & Drinks
Where do burgers like to dance?
At the meatball.
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Animals
Why is it called a litter of puppies?
Because they mess up the whole house.
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Current Events
Why do the Moon and the Earth get along best during the summer?
Because the Earth finally warms up to him.
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