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Why do bees buzz?

Because they can't whistle.

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Animals

Why did the spider eat fireflies every evening?

He wanted a "light" snack after dinner.

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two business people talking in front of a city office buildingPolitical

Why are bankers so good at American politics?

It's a system of checks and balances!

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a European mayor stands at a table in front of a crowdCurrent Events

Why did the mayor cancel his motorcade?

Because it rained on his parade.

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Puns

What did the rug say to the floor?

I've got you covered.

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Animals

What's a frog's favorite drink on a hot summer day?

An ice-cold croak-a-cola.

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Music

Which rock group consists of four men that don't sing?

Mount Rushmore.

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Entertainment

What do you get if you cross a science fiction film with a toad?

Star Warts.

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Political

Which former US President was always cold?

Calvin Coolidge.

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Puns

What did the sneaky chick say when it came out of the egg?

Time to hatch a plan!

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a close-up of a valet wearing a white glove opening a car doorPeople

Which celebrity would make a great valet?

Sarah Jessica Parker.

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Entertainment

Why did the God of Thunder need to stretch his muscles so much when he was a kid?

He was a little Thor.

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an aerial view of the Amazon River and surrounding jungleOutdoors

Which jungle also provides free two-day shipping?

The Amazon.

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Food & Drinks

What is the opposite of coffee?

Sneezy.

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Food & Drinks

What is the loneliest cheese?

Prov-alone.

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a close-up of a red pen and paper with an A+ written on itEducation

Why did the wizard ace his math test?

It was on magic squares.

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Puns

Do the mascara and lipstick ever argue?

Sure, but then they makeup.

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