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Why do all ocean animals get along with mollusks?

Because they're as happy as a clam.

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Retired veggies?Food & Drinks

What do you call a retired vegetable?

A has-bean.

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Puns

Why is it wrong to steal a thesaurus?

Because people have no words for how angry it makes them.

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a view of the earth from the moon's surfaceCurrent Events

Why do the Moon and the Earth get along best during the summer?

Because the Earth finally warms up to him.

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Puns

If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?

Plenty of milk.

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a clear plastic tub is filled with water and apples sitting on the ground with fall leavesAnimals

What animal won the bobbing for apples contest at the fair?

A bobcat.

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Puns

How do you take a pig to the hospital?

By hambulance.

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Puns

How are you liking that anti-gravity book?

It's impossible to put down!

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Holiday

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?

Claustrophobic.

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Animals

What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes to swim?

An octopuss.

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Family

What do cubs eat when their mom is out of town?

Bluebeary Pop-Tarts.

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Animals

When is a black dog not a black dog?

When it's a greyhound.

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a man wearing a beanie, sunglasses, and headphones in front of a blue backgroundFood & Drinks

What vegetables make the best music?

Beets.

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Sports

What is a cat's favorite part of baseball?

The seventh-inning stretch.

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a picture of Tunnel View, a scenic spot in Yosemite National Park in CAPeople

Which cartoon character loves the outdoors?

Yosemite Sam.

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Puns

What part of your eye learns the quickest?

The pupil.

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Sports

Why do managers bring suitcases along to away games?

So that they can pack the defense.

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