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Why didn't the skeleton study cardiology?

His heart wasn't in it.

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Animals

Why do rodents make the best runners?

Because life's a rat race.

Puns

What lives in the ocean, is grouchy, and hates neighbors?

A hermit crab.

Sports

Why did someone ask the baseball player to punch them?

He was the designated hitter.

Puns

What do cows like to dance to?

Any kind of moosic you like.

Education

Why did the professor write on the window?

She wanted the lesson to be clear.

Animals

Why do bees buzz?

Because they can't whistle.

Family

What do you call someone who tells dad jokes, but doesn't have any kids?

A faux pa.

People

Why did Adam and Eve get kicked out of the garden?

Because they didn't read the Apple terms and conditions.

People

What did Sherlock Holmes deduce when he woke up during his camping trip and saw the stars?

That someone had stolen his tent.

Animals

Why didn't the dog want to play football?

It was a boxer.

Animals

What happens when a cow doesn't shave?

It grows a moostache.

Puns

Why were the animal shelters at full capacity in the spring?

It kept raining cats and dogs.

Puns

Where would you put an injured insect?

In an antbulance.

Puns

Why were the animal shelters at full capacity in the spring?

It kept raining cats and dogs.

Holiday

What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective?

Santa Clues.

Animals

Who is the bees' favorite singer?

Sting.