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Why didn't the skeleton study cardiology?

His heart wasn't in it.

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Animals

Why do rodents make the best runners?

Because life's a rat race.

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Puns

What lives in the ocean, is grouchy, and hates neighbors?

A hermit crab.

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Sports

Why did someone ask the baseball player to punch them?

He was the designated hitter.

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Puns

What do cows like to dance to?

Any kind of moosic you like.

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Education

Why did the professor write on the window?

She wanted the lesson to be clear.

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Animals

Why do bees buzz?

Because they can't whistle.

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Family

What do you call someone who tells dad jokes, but doesn't have any kids?

A faux pa.

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People

Why did Adam and Eve get kicked out of the garden?

Because they didn't read the Apple terms and conditions.

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People

What did Sherlock Holmes deduce when he woke up during his camping trip and saw the stars?

That someone had stolen his tent.

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Animals

Why didn't the dog want to play football?

It was a boxer.

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Animals

What happens when a cow doesn't shave?

It grows a moostache.

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Puns

Why were the animal shelters at full capacity in the spring?

It kept raining cats and dogs.

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Puns

Where would you put an injured insect?

In an antbulance.

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Puns

Why were the animal shelters at full capacity in the spring?

It kept raining cats and dogs.

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Holiday

What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective?

Santa Clues.

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Animals

Who is the bees' favorite singer?

Sting.

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