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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

Because he didn't have the guts.

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Sports

What did they call Dracula when he won the league?

The champire.

Puns

Why were the atoms always hungry?

Their food is microscopic!

Animals

What animal makes the best lunches?

A peanut butter and jelly fish.

Outdoors

What do you call a BBQ by the pool?

A swim meat.

Animals

What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon?

A bird who knocks before delivering its message.

Animals

When is a black dog not a black dog?

When it's a greyhound.

Puns

What did one bunny say about the other bunny's new updo?

I like your hare!

Why quit taxi?Professional

Why did the man give up being a taxi driver?

There was too much talking behind his back.

Outdoors

Where did the 8-year-old tree go to learn?

Elementree school.

Sports

Which goalkeeper can jump higher than a crossbar?

All of them, a crossbar can't jump.

Education

Why did the clock get removed from the library?

Because it tocked too much.

Professional

How does NASA organize a company party?

They planet.

Animals

What happened to the chicken whose feathers were all pointing the wrong way?

She was tickled to death.

Animals

Where do horses reside?

In neigh-borhoods.

Food & Drinks

What do snowmen eat for lunch?

Icebergers.

Animals

Where do baby cats learn to swim?

The kitty pool.