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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

Because he didn't have the guts.

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Sports

What did they call Dracula when he won the league?

The champire.

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Puns

Why were the atoms always hungry?

Their food is microscopic!

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Animals

What animal makes the best lunches?

A peanut butter and jelly fish.

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Outdoors

What do you call a BBQ by the pool?

A swim meat.

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Animals

What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon?

A bird who knocks before delivering its message.

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Animals

When is a black dog not a black dog?

When it's a greyhound.

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Puns

What did one bunny say about the other bunny's new updo?

I like your hare!

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Why quit taxi?Professional

Why did the man give up being a taxi driver?

There was too much talking behind his back.

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Outdoors

Where did the 8-year-old tree go to learn?

Elementree school.

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Sports

Which goalkeeper can jump higher than a crossbar?

All of them, a crossbar can't jump.

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Education

Why did the clock get removed from the library?

Because it tocked too much.

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Professional

How does NASA organize a company party?

They planet.

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Animals

What happened to the chicken whose feathers were all pointing the wrong way?

She was tickled to death.

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Animals

Where do horses reside?

In neigh-borhoods.

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Food & Drinks

What do snowmen eat for lunch?

Icebergers.

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Animals

Where do baby cats learn to swim?

The kitty pool.

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