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Why didn't the dog want to play football?

It was a boxer.

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Education

What color are all the books in the library?

Red.

a rhinoceros is running through a dusty savannah Animals

Why do rhinos charge?

Because they never carry cash.

a person wearing blue gloves uses a drain snake tool in a bathroom sinkPeople

Which actor is a pro at unclogging a drain?

Christopher Plumber.

Puns

Knock knock. Who's there? Euripides. Euripides who?

Euripides things, you buy them!

Puns

Why do vampires always look sick?

They keep coffin.

People

Why did Adam and Eve get kicked out of the garden?

Because they didn't read the Apple terms and conditions.

Holiday

What's always playing in Santa's workshop?

Wrap music.

Animals

What do you get if you cross a computer and a Rottweiler?

A computer with a lot of bites.

a person puts a chlorine tablet into a chemical feeder for a poolSports

What game does chlorine never lose?

Pool.

Professional

Why did the barber win the race?

She knew shortcuts.

Professional

What did the train engineer's friend tell her when she did something crazy?

You're loco-motive!

a man is scratching his head with a puzzled look on his faceEntertainment

What's both a number one hit and a total failure?

A Blockbuster.

Holiday

Why didn't the skeleton study cardiology?

His heart wasn't in it.

a large orange tiger runs through powdery snowAnimals

Why couldn't the tiger run any faster in the race?

Because his opponent had him by the tail.

Animals

Why were the elephants thrown out of the swimming pool?

Because they couldn't hold their trunks up.

Animals

Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?

He heard the referee calling fowls.