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Why didn't the dog want to play football?

It was a boxer.

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Education

What color are all the books in the library?

Red.

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a rhinoceros is running through a dusty savannah Animals

Why do rhinos charge?

Because they never carry cash.

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a person wearing blue gloves uses a drain snake tool in a bathroom sinkPeople

Which actor is a pro at unclogging a drain?

Christopher Plumber.

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Puns

Knock knock. Who's there? Euripides. Euripides who?

Euripides things, you buy them!

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Puns

Why do vampires always look sick?

They keep coffin.

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People

Why did Adam and Eve get kicked out of the garden?

Because they didn't read the Apple terms and conditions.

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Holiday

What's always playing in Santa's workshop?

Wrap music.

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Animals

What do you get if you cross a computer and a Rottweiler?

A computer with a lot of bites.

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a person puts a chlorine tablet into a chemical feeder for a poolSports

What game does chlorine never lose?

Pool.

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Professional

Why did the barber win the race?

She knew shortcuts.

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Professional

What did the train engineer's friend tell her when she did something crazy?

You're loco-motive!

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a man is scratching his head with a puzzled look on his faceEntertainment

What's both a number one hit and a total failure?

A Blockbuster.

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Holiday

Why didn't the skeleton study cardiology?

His heart wasn't in it.

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a large orange tiger runs through powdery snowAnimals

Why couldn't the tiger run any faster in the race?

Because his opponent had him by the tail.

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Animals

Why were the elephants thrown out of the swimming pool?

Because they couldn't hold their trunks up.

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Animals

Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?

He heard the referee calling fowls.

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