Subscribe for more jokes!

Thank you! Your submission has been received!
Oops! Something went wrong while submitting the form.
Fields marked with an asterisk (*) are required.
By submitting this form, you are agreeing to our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use

Why did the window need an aspirin?

To relieve a glass pane.

Looking for a specific joke?

Thank you! Your submission has been received!
Oops! Something went wrong while submitting the form.
Animals

Why should you be careful playing against a team of big cats?

They might be cheetahs.

Animals

What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon?

A bird who knocks before delivering its message.

two children wearing backpacks are writing equations on a chalkboardEducation

Why was the mean not looking forward to the end of the school year?

Because it had to go to sum-mer school.

Holiday

What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?

A cookie sheet!

Animals

Why did the cat sleep with a fan on?

He wanted to be a cool cat.

Animals

Where do polar bears store their money?

In a snowbank.

Entertainment

What did the fisherman say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod.

Animals

What did the chicken do when he saw a bucket of fried chicken?

He kicked the bucket.

a large inflated red number five against a white backgroundPuns

Why is the number 5 good at keeping secrets?

It can plead the fifth.

Puns

I used to be addicted to not showering.

Luckily, I've been clean for five years.

Animals

What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?

So-fish-ticated.

Animals

Why didn't the dog speak to his foot?

Because it's not polite to talk back to your paw.

Puns

What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.

Animals

What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldoser.

Puns

What occurs twice in a lifetime, but only once in a year, twice in a week, but never in a day?

The letter "E".

a pair of orange swim trunks against a light blue backgroundPuns

Why did the man bring his swim trunks to the bar?

He heard they had a pool table.