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Why did the unwashed chicken cross the road twice?

Because he was a dirty double-crosser.

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Animals

Where do frogs keep their money?

In a river bank.

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Holiday

What do you call Santa's Helpers?

Subordinate clauses.

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Outdoors

Where do fishermen get their hair cut?

The bobber shop.

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Current Events

Who isn't happy to get an Academy Award?

Oscar the grouch.

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Puns

Do you have the best ceiling?

No, but it's up there.

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The rabbit?Animals

What do you call a rabbit with fleas?

Bugs bunny.

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Puns

What's red and smells like blue paint?

Red paint.

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Puns

What did the sneaky chick say when it came out of the egg?

Time to hatch a plan!

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Cat's TV show?Entertainment

What TV show did the cat love to watch?

Claw and Order.

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Food & Drinks

Did you hear about the famous pickle?

He was a big dill.

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astronaut spaced?Travel

Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?

Turns out he just needs some space!

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Vehicles

Why would a frog wait for the bus?

Because his car got toad.

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Sports

When fish play football, who is the captain?

The team's kipper.

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Vehicles

Why did the car excuse himself from the dinner party?

He had too much gas.

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Food & Drinks

What did one pickle say to the other when it didn't get its way?

Dill with it.

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Food & Drinks

Which hot drink loves golf?

Tea.

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