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Why did the senator bring cookies to the congress session?

He heard they were working on treat-ies.

Looking for a specific joke?

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People

What do you call a person who is happy on Mondays?

Retired.

Puns

Why was the picture sent to jail?

It was framed.

Puns

What kind of things does a farmer talk about when he is milking cows?

Udder nonsense.

Professional

What did the train engineer's friend tell her when she did something crazy?

You're loco-motive!

Animals

Why don't elephants like playing cards in the jungle?

Because of all the cheetahs.

Sports

What runs around a baseball field but stays still at the same time?

A fence.

Holiday

What's Father Christmas called when he takes a rest while delivering presents?

Santa pause.

Puns

What kind of books do boats write?

Ferry tales.

Food & Drinks

Why did the sausage quit playing baseball?

He was the wurst on his team.

Animals

Why do worms taste like chewing gum?

Because they're wrigleys.

Outdoors

Why are lunges a great way to start exercising?

Well, they are a big step forward.

Animals

What kind of fish will help you hear better?

A herring aid.

The Monkeys?Puns

What do you call two monkeys sharing an Amazon account?

PRIME-mates.

Puns

What did the clean dog say to the insect?

Long time, no flea.

Outdoors

Why shouldn't you iron a four-leaf clover?

You shouldn't press your luck.

Construction?Professional

Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.