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Why did the sea captain go on so many dates?

Because she knew there were other fish in the sea.

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Animals

What's a lizard's favorite cookie?

A fig newt-on.

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Professional

Why was the mime upset?

Someone called her a clown.

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Puns

What did the tree say to its long-distance girlfriend?

I pine for you.

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a close-up of a Burrowing owl with its head turned sideways at the cameraAnimals

What bird is losing its hair?

A bald eagle.

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Animals

What kind of dog loves to eat?

A Chow.

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Puns

Why do people love getting letters from astronauts?

They have the best space stationery.

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Outdoors

What's a tornado's favorite game?

Twister.

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Puns

Wanna hear my favorite potassium joke?

K.

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Puns

What kind of tree can you hold in one hand?

A palm tree.

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Animals

What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?

So-fish-ticated.

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Education

Knock knock. Who's there? Spell. Spell who?

W-H-O.

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Sports

What should a football team do if the pitch is flooded?

Bring on their subs.

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Animals

What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?

Irrelephant!

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Food & Drinks

What did the cupcakes say to the icing?

I'd be muffin without you.

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Puns

Which fly makes films?

Stephen Speilbug.

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Puns

What's the saddest part of the week?

Monday mourning.

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