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Why did the sausage quit playing baseball?
He was the wurst on his team.
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Puns
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?
He's all right now.
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Puns
When you die, what part of the body dies last?
The pupils... they dilate.
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Puns
What kind of shoes do robots wear during the winter?
Roboots.
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Animals
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the shell station.
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Professional
Why did the photographer attract so many mice?
She was always saying cheese.
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Vehicles
Which big cat loves to drive?
A jaguar.
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Animals
Why should you not pamper a cow?
You'll get spoiled milk.
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Animals
What did the duck say as he was buying chapstick?
Just put it on my bill.
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Family
How did the cowboy greet his wife every day after work?
Howdy, partner!
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Vehicles
What do you get when you put a car and a dog together?
A carpet.
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Puns
Why did the person sit on the clock?
So they could be ON time.
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People
How do you talk to a giant?
Use big words.
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Education
Why did the student eat their homework?
Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.
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Animals
What day of the week do chickens hide?
Fry-day.
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Animals
What animal has 20/20 vision?
A see-lion.
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Education
Why was the grandma always getting A's on her papers?
She had a knack for gram-mer.
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