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Why did the Roman chicken cross the road?

Because she was afraid someone would caesar.

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Puns

What did the sneaky chick say when it came out of the egg?

Time to hatch a plan!

Political

Which bureau of the US government has the best breath?

The Mint.

Puns

How do you make antifreeze?

You steal her blanket.

Sports

Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student?

Because education pays off in the long run.

The Politician?Political

What's the difference between a politician and a snail?

One is slimy, a pest, and leaves a trail everywhere and the other is a snail.

Food & Drinks

What kind of water do fireworks like?

Sparkling.

People

What do a tick and the Louvre have in common?

They are both Paris sites.

Animals

What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?

Dam.

Puns

What do cows like to dance to?

Any kind of moosic you like.

Food & Drinks

What kind of friends should you take to dinner?

Your taste buds.

Construction?Professional

Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.

Sports

What do you call a volleyball with a bad attitude?

Rebel Wilson.

Current Events

Who do insects see to get their taxes done?

An account-ant.

Animals

What sort of clothes does a pet dog wear?

A petticoat.

Sports

Why did the goal post get angry?

Because the bar was rattled!

Education

Knock knock. Who's there? Spell. Spell who?

W-H-O.