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Why did the Roman chicken cross the road?

Because she was afraid someone would caesar.

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Puns

What did the sneaky chick say when it came out of the egg?

Time to hatch a plan!

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Political

Which bureau of the US government has the best breath?

The Mint.

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Puns

How do you make antifreeze?

You steal her blanket.

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Sports

Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student?

Because education pays off in the long run.

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The Politician?Political

What's the difference between a politician and a snail?

One is slimy, a pest, and leaves a trail everywhere and the other is a snail.

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Food & Drinks

What kind of water do fireworks like?

Sparkling.

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People

What do a tick and the Louvre have in common?

They are both Paris sites.

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Animals

What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?

Dam.

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Puns

What do cows like to dance to?

Any kind of moosic you like.

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Food & Drinks

What kind of friends should you take to dinner?

Your taste buds.

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Construction?Professional

Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.

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Sports

What do you call a volleyball with a bad attitude?

Rebel Wilson.

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Current Events

Who do insects see to get their taxes done?

An account-ant.

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Animals

What sort of clothes does a pet dog wear?

A petticoat.

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Sports

Why did the goal post get angry?

Because the bar was rattled!

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Education

Knock knock. Who's there? Spell. Spell who?

W-H-O.

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