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Why did the pig go to the casino?

To play the slop machine.

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The Umpire?Sports

What's the difference between a pickpocket and an umpire?

One steals watches and one watches steals.

Puns

What's made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?

A shoe.

Animals

What's a toad's favorite ballet?

Swamp Lake.

Animals

When should you stop for a glow worm?

When he has a red light.

Soccer referees?Sports

What do soccer referees send during the holidays?

Yellow cards.

Switzerland a plus?Puns

What is the best thing about Switzerland?

I don't know, but its flag is a big plus.

Animals

What's a glow worm's favorite song?

Wake me up before you glow glow.

People

Who is the worm's Prime Minister?

Maggot Thatcher.

Family

Which family member is always relieved?

A ne-phew.

Outdoors

Where did the 8-year-old tree go to learn?

Elementree school.

Puns

What is a sea monster's favorite meal?

Fish and ships.

Sports

Where do spiders play their FA Cup final?

Webley stadium.

Puns

Where would you put an injured insect?

In an antbulance.

Music

What do you call berries playing the guitar?

A jam session.

People

Who is a fruit's favorite celebrity?

Halle Berry.

Entertainment

Which kitchen ingredient can also sing?

Grease.