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Why did the pig go to the casino?
To play the slop machine.
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Sports
What's the difference between a pickpocket and an umpire?
One steals watches and one watches steals.
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Puns
What's made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?
A shoe.
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Animals
What's a toad's favorite ballet?
Swamp Lake.
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Animals
When should you stop for a glow worm?
When he has a red light.
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Sports
What do soccer referees send during the holidays?
Yellow cards.
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Puns
What is the best thing about Switzerland?
I don't know, but its flag is a big plus.
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Animals
What's a glow worm's favorite song?
Wake me up before you glow glow.
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People
Who is the worm's Prime Minister?
Maggot Thatcher.
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Family
Which family member is always relieved?
A ne-phew.
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Outdoors
Where did the 8-year-old tree go to learn?
Elementree school.
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Puns
What is a sea monster's favorite meal?
Fish and ships.
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Sports
Where do spiders play their FA Cup final?
Webley stadium.
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Puns
Where would you put an injured insect?
In an antbulance.
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Music
What do you call berries playing the guitar?
A jam session.
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People
Who is a fruit's favorite celebrity?
Halle Berry.
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Entertainment
Which kitchen ingredient can also sing?
Grease.
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