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Why did the pig go to the casino?

To play the slop machine.

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The Umpire?Sports

What's the difference between a pickpocket and an umpire?

One steals watches and one watches steals.

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Puns

What's made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?

A shoe.

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Animals

What's a toad's favorite ballet?

Swamp Lake.

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Animals

When should you stop for a glow worm?

When he has a red light.

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Soccer referees?Sports

What do soccer referees send during the holidays?

Yellow cards.

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Switzerland a plus?Puns

What is the best thing about Switzerland?

I don't know, but its flag is a big plus.

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Animals

What's a glow worm's favorite song?

Wake me up before you glow glow.

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People

Who is the worm's Prime Minister?

Maggot Thatcher.

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Family

Which family member is always relieved?

A ne-phew.

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Outdoors

Where did the 8-year-old tree go to learn?

Elementree school.

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Puns

What is a sea monster's favorite meal?

Fish and ships.

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Sports

Where do spiders play their FA Cup final?

Webley stadium.

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Puns

Where would you put an injured insect?

In an antbulance.

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Music

What do you call berries playing the guitar?

A jam session.

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People

Who is a fruit's favorite celebrity?

Halle Berry.

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Entertainment

Which kitchen ingredient can also sing?

Grease.

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