Subscribe for more jokes!

Thank you! Your submission has been received!
Oops! Something went wrong while submitting the form.
Fields marked with an asterisk (*) are required.
By submitting this form, you are agreeing to our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use

Why did the person sit on the clock?

So they could be ON time.

Looking for a specific joke?

Thank you! Your submission has been received!
Oops! Something went wrong while submitting the form.
Sports

Why did someone ask the baseball player to punch them?

He was the designated hitter.

Animals

Why did the elephant eat the candle?

For light refreshment.

Puns

Who won the race between two balls of string?

They were tied.

Puns

What did the tomato say to the ear of corn?

Can you ear me?

Animals

What's a bee's favorite novel?

The Great Gats-bee.

The ducks?Animals

What do ducks get after they eat?

A bill!

Drummer's daughters?Music

What did the drummer name his twin daughters?

Anna 1, Anna 2.

Puns

What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.

Manufacturing?Professional

Where are average things manufactured?

The satisFACTORY.

Animals

How do you get out of an elephant's stomach?

You run around and around until you're all pooped out.

Holiday

How did the vampire start his letter?

Tomb it may concern...

Holiday

What does Santa call his wife at tax time?

A dependent Claus.

Entertainment

What did the baby laptop call her father?

Data.

Puns

Why did the pumpkin give up acting?

Its dreams were squashed.

Animals

Why was the cat so small?

Because it only ate condensed milk.

Sports

What runs around a baseball field but stays still at the same time?

A fence.