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Why did the nurse always choose the red crayon?
Because she always has to draw blood.
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People
Which celebrity loves to read?
Elliot Page.
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Animals
What do my dog and my cellphone have in common?
They both have collar I.D.
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Puns
What did one bunny say about the other bunny's new updo?
I like your hare!
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Holiday
Why does Santa's sled get such good mileage?
Because it has long-distance runners on each side.
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Puns
What kind of books do boats write?
Ferry tales.
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Animals
What do you get if you cross a trout with an apartment?
A flat fish.
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Puns
What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue?
We have to stick together.
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People
How did Benjamin Franklin feel when he discovered electricity?
Shocked!
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Animals
What do frogs drink in the winter?
Hot croako.
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Animals
Which insect is the smartest?
The spelling bee.
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Outdoors
Where does a camper keep his money?
In a river bank.
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Puns
What's red and smells like blue paint?
Red paint.
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Music
Which rock group consists of four men that don't sing?
Mount Rushmore.
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Professional
Why did the man give up being a taxi driver?
There was too much talking behind his back.
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Professional
Why did the person let a fish perform surgery on them?
He's a great sturgeon.
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Food & Drinks
Why don't eggs tell jokes?
They'd crack each other up!
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