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Why did the nurse always choose the red crayon?

Because she always has to draw blood.

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People

Which celebrity loves to read?

Elliot Page.

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Animals

What do my dog and my cellphone have in common?

They both have collar I.D.

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Puns

What did one bunny say about the other bunny's new updo?

I like your hare!

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Holiday

Why does Santa's sled get such good mileage?

Because it has long-distance runners on each side.

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Puns

What kind of books do boats write?

Ferry tales.

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Animals

What do you get if you cross a trout with an apartment?

A flat fish.

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Puns

What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue?

We have to stick together.

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People

How did Benjamin Franklin feel when he discovered electricity?

Shocked!

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Animals

What do frogs drink in the winter?

Hot croako.

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Animals

Which insect is the smartest?

The spelling bee.

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Outdoors

Where does a camper keep his money?

In a river bank.

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Puns

What's red and smells like blue paint?

Red paint.

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Music

Which rock group consists of four men that don't sing?

Mount Rushmore.

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Why quit taxi?Professional

Why did the man give up being a taxi driver?

There was too much talking behind his back.

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Professional

Why did the person let a fish perform surgery on them?

He's a great sturgeon.

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Scrambled eggs?Food & Drinks

Why don't eggs tell jokes?

They'd crack each other up!

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