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Why did the mirror cross the road?

To see itself!

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Animals

What's a snake's strongest subject in school?

Hiss-tory.

Holiday

What is a condiment's favorite holiday?

Cinco de Mayo.

Puns

What do you call someone who sees a robbery at an Apple Store?

The iWitness.

Animals

What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?

Rough Rough!

Puns

How does a single horse RSVP to a party?

They're going stag.

Puns

Why did the foal cough?

Because he was a little horse.

Animals

Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?

He heard the referee calling fowls.

Food & Drinks

Why was the seafood restaurant being investigated by the IRS?

They were suspected of being a shell company in some fishy business.

Entertainment

What do you call a robot that takes the long way?

R2 detour.

Puns

What has 12 legs, six eyes, three tails and can't see?

Three blind mice.

a close-up of a bottle of aspirin spilled on a red surfacePuns

Why did the window need an aspirin?

To relieve a glass pane.

a small girl, dressed up as a fairy in a fluffy tulle dress with wings, is sitting in a forestPuns

What fairy loves to count?

The two-th fairy.

Sports

What is a golfer's favorite bird?

They aren't picky, any birdie will do.

Puns

How was the wedding?

So beautiful! Even the cake was in tiers!

Current Events

What day never takes itself seriously?

April Fool's Day.

a close-up of baby hawks in a nest with their motherFamily

Why are birds of prey such good mothers?

They keep an eagle eye on their kids.