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Why did the mathematician decline a beer at the party?

He didn't want to drink and derive.

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Puns

What animal always goes to bed with its shoes on?

A horse.

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Animals

What do you call the dog magician?

A labra-cadabra.

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Puns

Why am I no longer addicted to the hokey pokey?

I turned myself around.

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Puns

What do you call a pig thief?

A hamburglar.

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Holiday

What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.

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Current Events

What's a direction's favorite holiday?

East-er.

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Education

Where do you go when you need an excuse to get out of something?

A lie-brary.

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Professional

What day of the week takes nothing seriously?

Casual Friday.

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Entertainment

What did the mother ghost tell the baby ghost when he ate his ice cream too fast?

Quit goblin your dessert.

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The rabbit?Animals

What do you call a rabbit with fleas?

Bugs bunny.

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Food & Drinks

Why did the tomato go out with the prune?

Because she couldn't find a date.

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Vehicles

Why are Olympians so picky about their vehicles?

They'll only drive a sports car.

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Animals

Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.

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Entertainment

Why did the mirror cross the road?

To see itself!

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Sports

Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student?

Because education pays off in the long run.

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pecan nuts?Food & Drinks

What did the pecan say to the walnut?

We're friends because we are both nuts!

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