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Why did the mathematician decline a beer at the party?
He didn't want to drink and derive.
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Puns
What animal always goes to bed with its shoes on?
A horse.
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Animals
What do you call the dog magician?
A labra-cadabra.
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Puns
Why am I no longer addicted to the hokey pokey?
I turned myself around.
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Puns
What do you call a pig thief?
A hamburglar.
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Holiday
What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?
Bugs Bunny.
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Current Events
What's a direction's favorite holiday?
East-er.
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Education
Where do you go when you need an excuse to get out of something?
A lie-brary.
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Professional
What day of the week takes nothing seriously?
Casual Friday.
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Entertainment
What did the mother ghost tell the baby ghost when he ate his ice cream too fast?
Quit goblin your dessert.
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Animals
What do you call a rabbit with fleas?
Bugs bunny.
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Food & Drinks
Why did the tomato go out with the prune?
Because she couldn't find a date.
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Vehicles
Why are Olympians so picky about their vehicles?
They'll only drive a sports car.
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Animals
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the shell station.
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Entertainment
Why did the mirror cross the road?
To see itself!
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Sports
Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student?
Because education pays off in the long run.
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Food & Drinks
What did the pecan say to the walnut?
We're friends because we are both nuts!
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