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Why did the map not want to be weighed?

It wasn't to scale.

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Animals

Which insect is the smartest?

The spelling bee.

People

What happened when the guy walked into the bar?

He was disqualified from the limbo contest.

Political

Which former US President was always cold?

Calvin Coolidge.

Animals

How do you stop an angry elephant from charging?

Take away its credit cards.

Outdoors

Where did the 8-year-old tree go to learn?

Elementree school.

Animals

What animal scores the most in basketball?

A dunk-ey.

Animals

What did the bee say to the flower?

Hello honey.

Animals

How expensive is swimming with sharks?

It cost me an arm and a leg!

Holiday

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?

Snowflakes.

Puns

What is a mouse's favorite game?

Hide and squeak.

Holiday

What's a mummy's favorite food to eat?

Wraps.

Animals

How does a polar bear build a house?

Igloos it together.

Education

Why did the comedian keep telling jokes about chemistry?

He was looking for a good reaction.

Puns

What's the opposite of irony?

Wrinkly.

People

If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get?

Missiletoe.

a caddy of various cleaning supplies, including soap, sponges, gloves, spray, etc.Education

Why was the janitor looking for cleaning products in the math department?

Because he heard there are lots of solutions.