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Why did the man name his canines Rolex and Timex?

They were his watch dogs.

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Education

What do you call a pencil that has two erasers?

Pointless.

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Puns

What is a duck's favorite dance?

The quackstep.

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Outdoors

What kind of bow can't be tied?

A rainbow!

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Puns

What is the difference between a fly and a bird?

A bird can fly but a fly can't bird.

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Puns

Why shouldn't you trust stairs?

They are always up to something.

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Outdoors

Which tree can't stop crying?

A weeping willow.

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Animals

What animal has 20/20 vision?

A see-lion.

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Animals

Why do spiders always know the answer to everything?

They're very good at finding things on the web.

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People

Why are the Middle Ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

They had so many knights.

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Puns

What do you call a pig thief?

A hamburglar.

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Professional

What did the dentist call the x-ray he took of your mouth?

A tooth pic.

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Professional

What did the angry customer say to the mechanic who couldn't figure out what was wrong with his car?

You auto-know better!

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Education

Where do you go when you need an excuse to get out of something?

A lie-brary.

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a Corgi dog is wrapped up in a blanketFamily

What did the puppy call his dad's best friend?

His godpawther.

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Entertainment

What cartoon character loves insects?

Bugs Bunny.

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Puns

What did the obituary say for the pot of boiling water?

You will be mist.

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