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Why did the man give up being a taxi driver?

There was too much talking behind his back.

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Puns

What is a duck's favorite dance?

The quackstep.

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Puns

When should you start writing a book?

When you have a novel idea.

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Entertainment

Why did the mirror cross the road?

To see itself!

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Food & Drinks

Why was the chip acting so goofy?

He was a cheese-ball.

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Entertainment

What's the name of Iron Man's thieving younger brother?

Steel-man.

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bird drinking?Animals

How many beers does it take to get a tropical bird drunk?

Toucans!

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three orca whales come to the surface of the waterPuns

Why do orcas love to gossip?

They always have a whale of a tale.

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Holiday

What is a mom's favorite game?

Mother, may I!

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Sports

What runs around a baseball field but stays still at the same time?

A fence.

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Animals

What do you call a pig's sore eye?

A pig-stye.

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Animals

Why was the moose able to move the bus on his own?

He had huge mooscles.

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Holiday

What Easter candy has tons of friends?

Peeps!

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Animals

Why did the chicken cross the net?

It wanted to get to the other site.

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People

Why can't the lifeguards save the hippies?

Because they're too far out.

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Outdoors

What happens when grass goes out of town?

It's a field day!

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Entertainment

Why does Snoop Dogg always have an umbrella with him?

Fo' drizzle.

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