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Why did the man decide to sell his vacuum?

It was gathering dust.

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Puns

Who won the race between two balls of string?

They were tied.

a Scottish wildcat is crawling on a tree log in a forestAnimals

Why did the wildcat have such a successful email newsletter?

It always had the best lynx.

Travel

Why did the wind want to go on vacation?

It had been busy with blustery days.

Sports

What do two oxygen molecule friends call each other?

Air buds.

The fish?Animals

Why did the fish blush?

Because it saw the ocean's bottom.

Puns

What did the outlet say to the power cord on their date?

Sorry, I just don't feel a spark.

Vehicles

A sheep walks into a car dealership. What type of car does it ask to test drive?

A lamborghini.

Outdoors

Which plant has the best roar?

A dandelion.

Puns

When Sunday and Monday get into a fight, who typically wins?

Sunday, because Monday is a week-day.

Professional

You know there's no official training for trash collectors?

They just pick things up as they go along.

Food & Drinks

What did the bread say when he proposed to his girlfriend?

I loaf you!

People

Which celebrity always frowns?

Simon Scowl.

Animals

Why did the chick disappoint his mother?

He wasn't what he was cracked up to be.

The Monkeys?Puns

What do you call two monkeys sharing an Amazon account?

PRIME-mates.

Sports

What did they call Dracula when he won the league?

The champire.

Animals

Why is it easy for chicks to talk?

Because talk is cheep.