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Why did the man decide to sell his vacuum?

It was gathering dust.

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Puns

Who won the race between two balls of string?

They were tied.

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a Scottish wildcat is crawling on a tree log in a forestAnimals

Why did the wildcat have such a successful email newsletter?

It always had the best lynx.

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Travel

Why did the wind want to go on vacation?

It had been busy with blustery days.

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Sports

What do two oxygen molecule friends call each other?

Air buds.

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The fish?Animals

Why did the fish blush?

Because it saw the ocean's bottom.

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Puns

What did the outlet say to the power cord on their date?

Sorry, I just don't feel a spark.

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Vehicles

A sheep walks into a car dealership. What type of car does it ask to test drive?

A lamborghini.

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Outdoors

Which plant has the best roar?

A dandelion.

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Puns

When Sunday and Monday get into a fight, who typically wins?

Sunday, because Monday is a week-day.

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Professional

You know there's no official training for trash collectors?

They just pick things up as they go along.

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Food & Drinks

What did the bread say when he proposed to his girlfriend?

I loaf you!

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People

Which celebrity always frowns?

Simon Scowl.

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Animals

Why did the chick disappoint his mother?

He wasn't what he was cracked up to be.

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The Monkeys?Puns

What do you call two monkeys sharing an Amazon account?

PRIME-mates.

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Sports

What did they call Dracula when he won the league?

The champire.

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Animals

Why is it easy for chicks to talk?

Because talk is cheep.

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