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Why did the lizard go on a diet?

It weighed too much for its scales.

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Food & Drinks

Why did the tortilla chip start dancing?

Because they put on the salsa.

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Puns

What did the sneaky chick say when it came out of the egg?

Time to hatch a plan!

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Animals

What goes zzub, zzub?

A bee flying backward.

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Holiday

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

Because he didn't have the guts.

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Food & Drinks

What's a horse's favorite fruit?

Straw-berries.

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Outdoors

I can cut down a tree only using my vision...

I saw it with my own eyes.

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Food & Drinks

How does one gelatin greet another?

Jello!

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Puns

How do you take a pig to the hospital?

By hambulance.

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Animals

What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning?

An alarm cluck.

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Food & Drinks

Why did the chocolate chip cookie go to the doctor?

Because it was feeling crummy.

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Puns

What did the outlet say to the power cord on their date?

Sorry, I just don't feel a spark.

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Animals

What do you call a kangaroo's lazy joey?

Pouch potato.

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Puns

What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?

Phillipe Phillope.

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Animals

Why can't dogs operate MRI machines?

I don't know, but catscan.

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Puns

How does a single horse RSVP to a party?

They're going stag.

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Entertainment

Where do baby ghosts go during the day?

In dayscare.

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