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Why did the lizard go on a diet?

It weighed too much for its scales.

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Food & Drinks

Why did the tortilla chip start dancing?

Because they put on the salsa.

Puns

What did the sneaky chick say when it came out of the egg?

Time to hatch a plan!

Animals

What goes zzub, zzub?

A bee flying backward.

Holiday

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

Because he didn't have the guts.

Food & Drinks

What's a horse's favorite fruit?

Straw-berries.

Outdoors

I can cut down a tree only using my vision...

I saw it with my own eyes.

Food & Drinks

How does one gelatin greet another?

Jello!

Puns

How do you take a pig to the hospital?

By hambulance.

Animals

What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning?

An alarm cluck.

Food & Drinks

Why did the chocolate chip cookie go to the doctor?

Because it was feeling crummy.

Puns

What did the outlet say to the power cord on their date?

Sorry, I just don't feel a spark.

Animals

What do you call a kangaroo's lazy joey?

Pouch potato.

Puns

What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?

Phillipe Phillope.

Animals

Why can't dogs operate MRI machines?

I don't know, but catscan.

Puns

How does a single horse RSVP to a party?

They're going stag.

Entertainment

Where do baby ghosts go during the day?

In dayscare.