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Why did the lawn mower get kicked off the team?

He couldn't make the cut.

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an apple pie with a lattice crust, dusted with powdered sugarEntertainment

Which Count makes the best pie crust?

The Count of Monte Crisco.

Music

What did the windmill say when it was asked what type of music was its favorite?

I'm a big fan of metal.

Animals

What's a frog's favorite drink on a hot summer day?

An ice-cold croak-a-cola.

a close-up of a man wearing glasses smiling at the cameraEntertainment

Why couldn't a guy with glasses feel the force?

He didn't have jed-eyes.

Professional

What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?

Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

Puns

Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa baas.

Outdoors

How do trees get access to the internet?

Easy, they just log in.

Sports

What did the basketball player say when he lost his job?

Well, I guess I'll just power forward.

Puns

Which state is the cleanest?

Washing-ton.

Professional

What did the NSA employee say when her friend tried to tell her a new joke?

Heard it.

Scrambled eggs?Food & Drinks

Why don't eggs tell jokes?

They'd crack each other up!

Food & Drinks

What do fairies always drink?

Sprite.

Puns

What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month?

The letter D.

Puns

What do you get from an Alaskan cow?

Cold cream.

Food & Drinks

Why couldn't the pepper go to archery practice?

It didn't habanero.

Animals

Why did the frog have a long face?

He was un-hoppy.