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Why did the gym buff read the dictionary?

He was looking for definition.

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Peter Pan?People

Why is Peter Pan always flying?

He neverlands.

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Animals

Why was the glow worm unhappy?

Because her children weren't that bright.

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Animals

Why is a frog luckier than a cat?

Because a frog croaks all the time but a cat only gets to croak nine times.

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a clear plastic tub is filled with water and apples sitting on the ground with fall leavesAnimals

What animal won the bobbing for apples contest at the fair?

A bobcat.

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Food & Drinks

What pasta is always ready for a formal event?

Bow tie.

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a close-up of many bumper cars in a rowVehicles

What did one car bumper say to another after the accident?

Don't get bent out of shape!

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Sports

Why did the footballer hold his boot to his ear?

Because he liked sole music.

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Animals

How does a polar bear build a house?

Igloos it together.

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Sports

What should a football team do if the pitch is flooded?

Bring on their subs.

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Entertainment

What's E.T. short for?

Because he has tiny legs.

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Professional

What kind of gift do you get for the World's Best Dentist?

A little plaque.

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The Baseball game?Sports

Why are baseball games at night?

The bats sleep during the day.

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web designer?Puns

Take him out please!

My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him. Went out. Had a few drinks. Nice guy! He is a web designer...

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a close-up of a wizard holding their hand over a magic crystal ballAnimals

Which wizard is often mistaken for an animal?

Hairy Potter.

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Sports

Why was the stadium steaming hot after the game?

All of the fans left.

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Puns

What did one bunny say about the other bunny's new updo?

I like your hare!

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