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Why did the gym buff read the dictionary?

He was looking for definition.

Looking for a specific joke?

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Peter Pan?People

Why is Peter Pan always flying?

He neverlands.

Animals

Why was the glow worm unhappy?

Because her children weren't that bright.

Animals

Why is a frog luckier than a cat?

Because a frog croaks all the time but a cat only gets to croak nine times.

a clear plastic tub is filled with water and apples sitting on the ground with fall leavesAnimals

What animal won the bobbing for apples contest at the fair?

A bobcat.

Food & Drinks

What pasta is always ready for a formal event?

Bow tie.

a close-up of many bumper cars in a rowVehicles

What did one car bumper say to another after the accident?

Don't get bent out of shape!

Sports

Why did the footballer hold his boot to his ear?

Because he liked sole music.

Animals

How does a polar bear build a house?

Igloos it together.

Sports

What should a football team do if the pitch is flooded?

Bring on their subs.

Entertainment

What's E.T. short for?

Because he has tiny legs.

Professional

What kind of gift do you get for the World's Best Dentist?

A little plaque.

The Baseball game?Sports

Why are baseball games at night?

The bats sleep during the day.

web designer?Puns

Take him out please!

My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him. Went out. Had a few drinks. Nice guy! He is a web designer...

a close-up of a wizard holding their hand over a magic crystal ballAnimals

Which wizard is often mistaken for an animal?

Hairy Potter.

Sports

Why was the stadium steaming hot after the game?

All of the fans left.

Puns

What did one bunny say about the other bunny's new updo?

I like your hare!