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Why did the footballer hold his boot to his ear?
Because he liked sole music.
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Food & Drinks
Why was the dairy grumpy?
It was sour cream.
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Puns
What do you get if you cross the Lone Ranger with an insect?
The Masked-quito.
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Puns
Why shouldn't you buy anything with velcro?
They're a total rip-off.
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Family
What do moms say is bad for both family trips and sleeping?
A wet blanket.
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Animals
What do you call a sheepdog's tail that can tell tall stories?
A shaggy dog's tale.
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People
What do people call Arnold Schwarzenegger in retirement?
The Exterminator.
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Education
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you.
You have my Word!
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People
How did the coach get his quarterback?
He went to the bank.
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Animals
What's a rabbit's favorite way to travel?
By hareplane.
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Professional
Why was the nurse afraid of camping?
Because there was so much poison IV.
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Holiday
Why are sandals so indecisive?
They always flip-flop back and forth.
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Puns
What did the rug say to the floor?
I've got you covered.
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Animals
Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
He wasn't what he was cracked up to be.
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Entertainment
What did the mother ghost tell the baby ghost when he ate his ice cream too fast?
Quit goblin your dessert.
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Family
What siblings are always sad?
The Blues Brothers.
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Puns
What do painters do when they make a mistake?
They go back to the drawing board.
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