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Why did the crocodile run his mile so fast?

He had Gatorade.

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Vehicles

Where did the boat go when it was sick?

The boat doc.

Puns

Why should you be worried about the calendar?

Its days are numbered.

Puns

What do mice do when they're at home?

Mousework.

an apple pie with a lattice crust, dusted with powdered sugarEntertainment

Which Count makes the best pie crust?

The Count of Monte Crisco.

Animals

Why do elephants have trunks?

Because they've no pockets to put things in.

Puns

What does a cloud wear under his pants?

Thunderwear.

Puns

Why don't eggs tell each other jokes?

Because they'd crack each other up.

Outdoors

Why did the tilapia roll his eyes at the sea captain?

He was fishing for compliments.

Puns

What shape has a knighthood?

Cir-cle.

Animals

What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?

Dam.

Holiday

Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Proctor and Gamble?

Comet cleans sinks.

Puns

What did one angel say to the other angel?

Halo there.

Animals

Why does a duck have tail feathers?

To cover its butt-quack.

Entertainment

What did the baby laptop call her father?

Data.

Animals

Why did the cat frown when she passed the hen house?

Because she heard fowl language.

Puns

What did the worm say to the other when he was home late?

Where in earth have you been?