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Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
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Puns
She Needed Her Balance Checked!
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to check her balance. So I pushed her over!
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Current Events
When do flowers get their workout in?
Spring Training.
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Puns
How often should you make chemistry jokes?
Periodically.
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Animals
If there are eight sheep, three dogs, and one herdsman, how many feet are there?
Two. Sheep have hooves; dogs have paws; only the herdsman has feet.
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Animals
Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple?
Because everyone had to go on in pairs.
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People
Who do camels find most inspiring?
The Dalai Llama.
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Puns
What did the adding machine say to the cashier?
You can count on me.
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People
What do you call an 80-year-old cheerleader?
Old yeller.
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Puns
What lives in the ocean, is grouchy, and hates neighbors?
A hermit crab.
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Puns
What did the lovesick bull say to the cow?
When I fall in love it will be for heifer.
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Animals
What do cats eat for breakfast?
Mice Krispies.
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Puns
Why do people love getting letters from astronauts?
They have the best space stationery.
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Entertainment
Why did the man buy the discounted TV with a broken volume control?
He couldn't turn it down.
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Puns
What's a toad's favorite sweet?
Lollihops.
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Entertainment
Why did the mirror cross the road?
To see itself!
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Puns
How do you know if a joke is considered a dad joke?
It becomes apparent.
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