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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.

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Balanced Checked?Puns

She Needed Her Balance Checked!

Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to check her balance. So I pushed her over!

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Current Events

When do flowers get their workout in?

Spring Training.

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Puns

How often should you make chemistry jokes?

Periodically.

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Animals

If there are eight sheep, three dogs, and one herdsman, how many feet are there?

Two. Sheep have hooves; dogs have paws; only the herdsman has feet.

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Animals

Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple?

Because everyone had to go on in pairs.

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People

Who do camels find most inspiring?

The Dalai Llama.

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Puns

What did the adding machine say to the cashier?

You can count on me.

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People

What do you call an 80-year-old cheerleader?

Old yeller.

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Puns

What lives in the ocean, is grouchy, and hates neighbors?

A hermit crab.

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Puns

What did the lovesick bull say to the cow?

When I fall in love it will be for heifer.

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Cat's breakfast?Animals

What do cats eat for breakfast?

Mice Krispies.

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Puns

Why do people love getting letters from astronauts?

They have the best space stationery.

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Entertainment

Why did the man buy the discounted TV with a broken volume control?

He couldn't turn it down.

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Puns

What's a toad's favorite sweet?

Lollihops.

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Entertainment

Why did the mirror cross the road?

To see itself!

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Puns

How do you know if a joke is considered a dad joke?

It becomes apparent.

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