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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.

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Balanced Checked?Puns

She Needed Her Balance Checked!

Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to check her balance. So I pushed her over!

Current Events

When do flowers get their workout in?

Spring Training.

Puns

How often should you make chemistry jokes?

Periodically.

Animals

If there are eight sheep, three dogs, and one herdsman, how many feet are there?

Two. Sheep have hooves; dogs have paws; only the herdsman has feet.

Animals

Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple?

Because everyone had to go on in pairs.

People

Who do camels find most inspiring?

The Dalai Llama.

Puns

What did the adding machine say to the cashier?

You can count on me.

People

What do you call an 80-year-old cheerleader?

Old yeller.

Puns

What lives in the ocean, is grouchy, and hates neighbors?

A hermit crab.

Puns

What did the lovesick bull say to the cow?

When I fall in love it will be for heifer.

Cat's breakfast?Animals

What do cats eat for breakfast?

Mice Krispies.

Puns

Why do people love getting letters from astronauts?

They have the best space stationery.

Entertainment

Why did the man buy the discounted TV with a broken volume control?

He couldn't turn it down.

Puns

What's a toad's favorite sweet?

Lollihops.

Entertainment

Why did the mirror cross the road?

To see itself!

Puns

How do you know if a joke is considered a dad joke?

It becomes apparent.